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An Ultimate Largest Collection of Hindi Non Veg SMS, Adult Messages, Double MeaningJokes, Non Veg Shayaris, Poems, Quotes, ASCII, Funny Non Veg SMS
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In a party, a lady wanted to go to toilet. She said to Santa: Susu
karne ki jagah dikhaao.
Santa: you naughty girl, pehle tum dikhaao.
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Mother: Do you know the meaning of Mangalsutra?
Daughter: Yes, it is the license to enjoy Kamasutra.
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Ek pathan ki shaadi ke 3 din baad uski patni boli, "
is liye ki hai ki humare bache hon, is liye nahi ke mujhe poty khul
kar aaye.
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Wife n
1) Dono hi dusro ke achche lagte hai.
2) Dono hi naye achche lagte hai.
3) Dono ko hi raat bhar charge karna padta hai.
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Sardar shouted angerily to his wife: main teri GaNd mar dunga...sardar
wise : kabi tu aage ki soch liya karue
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Sardar ki gand phat gai .. Mochi ne see kar 25000/- ka bill de diya ..
Sardar ne 50000/- de diye
MOCHI:itne zyada kyoo de rahe ho ?? Sardar: tera bill dekh kar phir
phat gai ha
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Girl to her mother: Mama , main kaise paida hui thi?
Mother Baita tumhein pari le kar ayi thi.
Girl: Acha to papa pari ko bhi choda kartay thay?
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Teacher: "LOVE" kia Hai
Ali: Sir "L" ko pakar k "O" ko duba k "V" main Ghusa k jab "E" ki Awaz
aye to usay "LOVE" kehtay hain.
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1 punjabi 1 Sindhi or 1 PATHAN Dozakh main thae.or teenon ke khawahish
the k woh zameen par ayeen. Akhir kaar un ko zameen par jany ke ijazat
mil gaye but 1 shart par k woh zameen par ja kar koi khawish nahe
karain ge .. agar unhon ne koi khawahish ke to Wapas DOZAKH main baij
diye jayen ge. teenon punjabi pathan oor sindhi ja rahy thae k Sindhi
ko book lag gaye oor uss ne Khana khany ke shadeed khawhish ke. jaisy
he uss ne khawhish ke Sath main he Sindhi gayeeb ho giya. ab punjabi
oor pathan reh gaye thae. Ab punjabi ne Zameen Par se Khuch uthany k
liye neechy huwa.(RAKOO WALY HALAT MAIN) to jab woh seeda huwa to
Peechy Se pathan Gayeeb ho chuka tha .. =))
Moral.. Pathan Ke Khawahish Bury Balaa hai
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Pregnant gal se Doc ne pucha: Yeh kab hua?
Gal: Jab Mom and Dad film dekhne gaye the, mera friend ghar aaya tha.
Doc: Tum saath kyon nahin gayi?
Gal: Adult movie thi..
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Bihari Babu: Arre O doctarwa, kaisa nasbandi kiye ho humaar? Biwi phir
se maan banne wali hai.
Doc: Hum nasbandi tohar kiya hoon pura
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Lady: I'm warning you, my husband is coming back in half an hour.
Man: But I'm not doing anything.
Lady: That's why I'm warning you. Hurry up.
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Which is the smallest hotel in the world?
VAGINA INN. It can accomodate only one standing guest with his luggage
hanging outside...
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One agent was tensed.
Dealer: Kya hua?
Agent: Main 6 mahine se tour pe hoon, aur meri biwi pregnant ho gai.
Dealer: Ab pata chala bina order ke maal aaye to kaisa lagta hai...
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eik bhoot ne bhavan ki khidmat ke
bhagvan ne khush hoker usse kaha maang tujhe kia maangna hai
bhoot nay bhagvan se kaha mujhey khoobsurat lerkion ka khoon chosna hai
bhagvan ne ussey 'Always ultra' bana deya
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11 girls ask the fruit seller to give 11 banana.
fruit seller : i will not sell less than 12 bananas.
1 girl said : "le le yaar, 1 kha lenge"
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worried mother give her daughter a pack of condoms b4 a hot
date......girl hugs and laughs at her mother and says-time changed
mom, i am dating my girl friend
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Husband: Aj tak tum kitnay logoon k sath soii ho?
Wife: Such boloon to sirf aap kay sath he soii hoon,baki sabhi k sath
sari sri raat jagi hoon...
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MAN: KISS KAROON?
GIRL: LIPSTICK KHARAB HO GE
MAN: BOOBS DABAOON
GIRL: SHIRT KHARAB HO GI
MAN: FUCK!!!
GIRL: PERIOD MAI HOON
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SOOPER Biscuits
Mama to Daughter: Beta kaisi ho?
Daughter: sooper mama
Mama:Chest kaisi hai?
Daughter: sooper mama
Mama: or GAND
Daughter:Woh to hay hi SOOPER
Mama: Beta pata hai hum nay tumharee mangni PATHAN say tay kar dee hai.
Daughter: sooper mama, hoon...kya?? ? pathan hai? Please aisa na
karain ,wo sirf gand maray ga.Aap nani kaisay bano ge..
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Degrees Of Girls
B.a = Beautiful Angel
B.e = Beautiful Eyes
B.sc = Beautiful Structure
B.l = Beautiful Lips
M.b.a = Married But Available
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A lady gives a 5ooRs note to a shopkeeper.
shopkeeper said> Did u placed it in
Lady said> How do u know?
shopkeeper> bcoz Mahatama gandhi's mouth is open
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Chacha, chachi dono lafange
Bistar pe lete dono nange
Chachi ko lagi thund
Chache ne nikaala
Chachi boli "Yeh kya"?
Chacha bola "Machine gun"
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Aik bus mai boys ki team or gulz ki team tyar hueen antakshari khelne
k leayay
Girls: Hum tumhain hara kar dikhayenge
Boys: Hum har gayay. chalo ab dikhao :)
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Girl: Mummy, jab mein susu karti hoon tou seeti ki awaaz aati hai. Aap
ki aati hai?
Mummy : Beta pehle meri bhi aati thi, abh tumhare papa ne baja baja ke
kharab kardi hai
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aik dafa aik sperm ne dosry se kaha ... me bara ho ker dockter bano
ga... dosry ne kaha me pilot bano ga.... suddenly... man
musterbateted. ..bohot faal in flush....dono ne awaz lagai.....
bhenchod ke buchay .... sary... career ki maa chode... heheheheheh
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A crow shits on a sardar.Sardarni hands over tissue to sardarji.
sardar says: Ab kis ki gand poonchu, kawwa to udd gya.
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Man 2 wife : business is going down,if u learn to cook,we can remove
bavarchi. wife : asshole,if u learn to fuck, we can remove
driver,gardner & watchman!!!! !!!!
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Panties:-
Q:What is the difference between panties of 1970 and panties of 2004?
A:In 1970 you have to pull down the pantie to see the buttocks. In
2004 you have to seperate the buttocks to see the pantie.
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An 8-year-old girl went to her dad, who was working in the yard.
She said, ''Daddy, what is sex?''
The father was surprised that she would ask such a question, but
decided that if she was old enough to ask the question, then she was
old enough to get a straight answer.
He proceeded to tell her all about the 'birds and the bees.''
When he finished explaining, the little girl was looking at him with
her mouth hanging open.
Her father said, ''Why did you ask that question, honey?''
She replied, ''Mom told me to tell you that dinner will be ready in
just a few sex."
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Sardar on bike and a Pathan on a truck. Both were waiting at a traffic
signal.
Pathan trying to make fun of sardar" are aye sardar jab head mein
khujli hoti hai to helmet utar ke kyun nahi karte" sardar
replies "sade pathan, jab leg pe khujli hoti hai, to pant utar ke kyun
nahi karta"
Signal turn on and sardar goes on. on another road Pathan says to
Sardar " are aye sardar, jab ek helmet(pagdi) pehna hai to doosra kyun
pehna hai" sardar says "oye pathan, jab underwear pehna hai to pant
kyun pehna hai
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To Avoid Doctor's Fees ,,, Sardar Jee After Eye Operation ...
Doctor: Dheerey dheery apni aankhain kholiye ...
sardar : mujeh dikhaayi nahi dey raha ....
doctor: asked a nurse to undress in front of him ...
sardar : mujhe kuch dikhaayi nahi dey raha ...
docotor : ask nurse to open her legs in front of him ...
sardar: mujhe kuch dikhaayi nahi dey raha ...
docotor : aby jhootay .. madarchod .. agar tujhe nazar nahi aaraha to
tera
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Sardarji is irritated of jokes made on him.So He goes 2 his wife and
says"Tell me 1 joke in which i am not involved".Wife said:-I"m
Pregnant!?
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Jeeto was going to
Santa thinks: Kitni bholi hai, main saath nahin jaa raha phir bhi
condom saath le jaa rahi hai.
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1:Height of Honesty: A pregnant woman asking the bus conductor for
>>one & a half ticket.
>>
>>
>>2:Height of patience: A female lying naked under a banana tree and
>>hoping for banana to fall in the right place.
>>
>>
>>3:Height of Confusion: Two earthworms making love in a bowl of
>>noodles.
>>
>>
>>4:Height of revenge: A bastard roaming in a condom factory with a
>>needle in his hand
>>
>>
>>5:Height of pain: A monkey sliding down a knife's edge using balls
>>as his brakes.
>>
>>
>>6:Height of Foolishness: A guy peeping thru' the keyhole of a glass
>>door.
>>
>>
>>7:Height of Noise: Two skeletons fucking on a tin roof.
>>
>>
>>8:Height of Innocence: A teenager girl applying Clearasil to her
>>nipples thinking them as pimples.
>>
>>
>>9:Height of Itch: A fat man hanging (upside down) from a roof
>>trying to scratch his balls.
>>
>>
>>10:Height of laziness: A guy lying on a girl and waiting for an
>>earthquake to do the rest.
>>
>>
>>11:Height of Unemployment: Cobwebs in prostitute's cunt.
>>
>>
>>12:Height of Competition: A guy peeing beside a waterfall.
>>
>>
>>13:Height of Bravery: A naked man bending over to pick up a
>>quarter on an island of gays.
>>
>>
>>14:Height of Sophistication: Sucking nipples with a straw.
>>
>>
>>15:Height of Technology: Condom with zip.
>>
>>
>>16:Height of Darkness: A negro searching for his penis in a dark
>>room.
>>
>>
>>17:Height of fashion: A female applying Lipstick to her vertical
>>Lips.
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Santa and banta were caught raping a girl. They were called for
identification parade. When the girl arrives, both Santa and Banta
shout together: Yahi thee, Yahi thee"
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KBC..HOST!AMITAB BACHAN to
sardar g:wat iz the color of your wife's bra
A: White
B: Black
C: Red
D: Pink
sardar G: can i call a friend?
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NA HUM AIDS SE DARTE HAYN AUR NA HUM CONDOM SE KARTE HAYN
HUM TU DUNIYA SE DARTE HAYN IS LIE HATHOON SE KARTE HAYN
HAPPY MUTH DAY :)
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Make luv to ur galfriend on Valentine day. She'll give u gud news on
Mothers` day n u'll hv a child on children`s day. Don't try this on
everybody. U'll hv bad news on Dec 1 (AIDS day)
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Q:Who's senior: Penis or Vagina?
A: Vagina, because penis always stands up in its honour.
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ek patient doctor kay pass jaata hai aur kehta hai doctor sahib mera
ek tatta neela (blue)ho gaya hai
doctor kehta hai:yeh to bara masla hai ap ko operation karwa kar yeh
tatta nikalwaana parey ga
patient kehta hai k "NHI"
doctor samjhaata hai k tumhain apni zindagi pyari hai ya apna tatta
patient kehta hai zindagi
doctor us ka operation kar deta hai aur tatta nikaal deta hai
3 din k baad patient dobaara aata hai aur kehta hai "doctor sahib mera
doosra tatta bhi neela ho gaya hai"
doctor kehta hai oh oooo...ap ka phir se operation karna parey ga aur
doosra tatta bhi nikaalna parey ga
patient kehta hai "nhi"
doctor us ko razi kar leta hai aur doosra tatta bhi nikaal deta hai
3 din k baad woh phir aata hai aur kehta hai k doctor sahib mera lund
bhi neela ho gaya hai
doctor kehta hai k yeh bemaari to bari khatarnaak lagti hai ap ka lund
bhi kaatna parey ga
patient kehta hai "MUJHE PEHLE BHI APNI WIFE SE MAAR PARI HAI AB TO
WOH MUJHE GHR SE NIKAAL DE GI"
doctor kehta hai k ap pareshaan mat ho main us ki tarah ka doosra laga
doo ga.aur us ka operation kar deta hai
3 din k baad woh banda phir aata hai aur kehta hai k doctor sahib ap
ne jo new lund lagaya tha woh bhi neela ho gaya
doctor ko gussa aata hai aur kehta hai k apni pent utaroo
phir doctor us ki under wear ko haat lagata hai aur guzzay se kehta
hai "BHARWAY...GANDOO. ...DALLAY. .... TERA TO UNDER WEAR COLOR CHOOR
RAHA HAI"......
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Badi hasrat thi ki kholein unki salwaar ka nara,
Sanam ki berukhi dekho ki nangey hi chale aye, Wah wah wah
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raat ki tanhayaan
tail ki chiknayan
uthao botal tail ki
musaratoon k khel ki
na koi munda na koi run
apna hath aur apna hi lun
YEHI TO HE WO APNA PUN
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A Very sexy and attractive Female Employee
meets her boss and says::
"Sir!will u remove something from my Breast?
BOSS:"Wow wats that?"
"Your eyes Sir!!!!"
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Fuck is good
Fuck is funny
Lots of ppl Fuck 4 money
If u think that fuck is funny
FUCK urself and save ur money
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Wife : Thora aram se karo EXPRESS chala rahy ho
Husband: to kya mallgari Chalaon?
Itnay main munna bed se gir jata hai and bolta ha jo marzi chalao par
musafer to na girao
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Girl : Mom , Jony asked me to climb. MoM: You fool he wanted to see
your underwear..
Girl: I Know but i fooled him . I removed my underwear before climing
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Sardar ji ko sarak k kinaray peeshab kartay dehk kar 1 larki rasra
badalnay lagi.
Sardar ji bole ,
" DARYE MAT AP JIS SE DAR RAHI HAIN USEY MAIN NE PAKRA HUA HA "
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