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Tuesday, April 23, 2013

Bangla Jokes Collection






**Bangla Jokes Collection
1st: ei janis to amar dictionary te na osombob bole kono kotha nei!
ami ja ichhe korte pari!
2nd: jah! Toke ebhabe thokalo dokandar!
ei jonnei bolechilam dekhe sune dictionary keno!
**
Chhele:baba, janoto aaj class e mam ekta question korechilo jar ans sudhu ami dite perechhi!
Baba:ei to amar sona chhele. Ki prosno korechhilen mam?
Chhele:ke blackboard e susu korechhe?
**
Tourist:”ei konkal ta kar?
Guide:tipu sultan er.
Tourist: ar oi paashe oi chhoto konkal ta kar?
Guide: ota tipu sultan er chhotobelar konkal.
**
Woman:amar husband bazar e alu kinte gechhilo
5 din hoye gelo, ekhono fereni! Plz kichhu korun!
Inspector: thik achhe ami dekhchhi
kintu…
etokkhon apni onno kichhu to ranna korte parten!
**
Ram:are dada, apni apnar auto er chaka keno khulchen?!
Auto-driver: apni ki kana naki!
dekhchhen an lekha achhe ‘parking only for 2 wheelers’!!
Have a nice day
**
Ram:are dad apni amay thokalen keno!!
Dokandar:kothya thokalam apnake! Bhalo radio i to diechhi!
Ram:chhai bhalo! Lekha chhe made in Japan aar chalale bolchhe,
this is All India Radio!!
**
Ek bachha mosha tar prothom uraan bhore ghore firlo.
Maa mosh jigges korlo: kemon laglo bachha?
Bachha mosh bollo: darun laglo, maa, sobai amar jonno hat tali dichhilo!
**
USA te proti bochhor Edison er jonmodin upolokkhe 2 min load shedding hoy.
Kintu amra indian ra aro beshi honour dekhanor jonno
Sara bochhor roj 3 ghonta power cut kore tar jonmodin palon kori.
**
Ram: kibhabe ami amar baba ke bolbo je ami ebar o fail korechhi?
Shyam: ekta telegram kor lekh.
**
Teacher: kew bolte parbe kakotaliyo er ekta example?
Student. Haan sir,
…………… amar maa aar baba er biyer din aar somoy ekebare same!!
eke bole kakotaliyo byapar!!
**
Husband : ki khabar baniyechho? Gobar er moto khete lagchhe!!
Wife: hey bhogoban e kemno loker sathe biye holo amar!
tumi ki ki kheyechho go jibone?
gobor kemon khete hoy tao jano!! :P
**
Recession er result:
Ekhon economy er emon obostha. Je
je….

Meyerao aajkal bhalobasa dekhe biye korchhe!!
**
2jon lok ek uchu barir chhad theke laaf dichhe
1st: eta amar 50th jump, ami recordholder.
2nd: eta amar 1st jump, ami ekjon shareholder.
**
Ek ortho-surgeon tar patient ke bolchhe:
“apnar jonno ekta bhalo arekta kharap khobor achhe.
Bhalo khobor holo je apnar je paa ta kharap chhilo ota thik hoye gechhe.
Aar kharap khobor holo apnar je paa ta bhalo chhilo ota amar operation e kharap hoe gechhe..
**
A: amar chhele ekebare sonay sohaga.
B:tomar chele smoke kore?
A:na.
B: drink kore?
A: na
B: sotty tomar chhele sonay sohaga.ta boyosh koto tomar chheler?
A: 6 maas.
**
Munnabhai: jodi toke kukur kamray jetar daant nei, tui ki korbi?
Circuit: are bhai eto khub i soja.
injection nebo, needle chhara.
**
Height of hope:
Ek chhele xam hall e bose achhe..
Se nijeke bojachhe:

….
Chintar kichhu nei..
..
Xam pichhiye jabe.
**
Ekta hathi, bagh ar suor ekdin kotha bolchilo nijeder moddhye.
Hathi: amar awaz sune jungle er sobai bhoy pay.
Bagh: amar gorjon e boner sob jontu kepe othe!
Suor: chho! Amake sudhu ektu kashte hoy,tatei gota duniya bhoy e kepe othe
**
Ami tomay sudhu etuku I bolte chai je, tumi amar khub priyo bondhu.tumi kadle,ami kadi, tumi hasle, ami hasi….tumi jokhon janala diye jhaap dao,ami niche dekhi, abar
hasi..:P
**
Hey, sobsomoy mone rakhte murkhoami chhara, gyan thakte pare na, ugliness chhara, beauty thakte pare na.tai bolchhi …..
….ei world e tomar dorkar achhe.
**
Ek investor tar secretary ke bollo:
“ami bhablam amader economy boom korbe.”
Secrtary: “na sir, ota amader investment crash howar sound chhilo”
**
Alibaba and recession:
Alibaba aar tar 40 jon chor chhilo.
Kintu ekhon matro 30 jon chor baki achhe.
……..
Recession e 10 jon er chakri gechhe.
**
Stock market holo emon ek jaiga jekhane
Takawala lokjon experienced loker kachhe jay.
Aar experience wala lokjon taka pay.
Takawala lokera pay sudhu experience.
**
Sensex e 50% er loss hoechhe.
Ekhon sona, jomi kinle sob jole jabe.
Tai
Love
Friendship
Relationship
Feelings
Esob e invest koro
Sobsomoy bhalo return pabe.
**
Chhele: baba, amake choshma kine dao, ami durer jinis kichhu dekhte pai na!
baba chhele ke baire niye gelo.
Surjo er dike dekhiye bollo: ota dekhte pachhis?
Chheleo bollo:haan,pabo na keon?
Baba:tobe re beta! Aar kotodur dekhte chaas tui?!!
**
Ram:”ei shyam,amai amar money bag barite rekhe esechhi, amay 1000 taka dhaar dite parbi?”
shyam ram ke 10 taka dhriye diye bollo:
“ja chinta koris na, riksha niye bari ja,
Aar money bag ta niye aye”
**
Ek mahajna ek kanjus er bari gelo taka ushul korte.
Mahajan:”tomar baba amr kachh theke 5000 taka dhaar niechhe
Tar 10% suder rate e 1 bochhor e koto hoy?
Chhele: kichhui na.
Mahajan: tumi dekhchhi onko ekebarei jano na.
Chhele:”ami onko jani,kintu apni amar babake janen na….:P
**
Doctor Patient Jokes in Bengali
Doctor: apnar choshma lagbe.
Patient: apni ki kore bujhlen apni to amay check o korlen na.
Doctor: apni jeta dorja bhebe bhetore dhuklen, seta asole ekta janal chhilo.
**
Ek patient sue chhilo ek hospital er bed e.
Patient:doctor, ami amar paa e kichhu feel korchhi na!
Doctor: ami jani, ami bhul kore apnar hath duto kete felechhi.
**
Dactar ra sobsomoy hotash koren!
Ami 2 maas por doctor er appointment pelam.
Dactar er kachhe gelam.
Uni bollen I m sorry. Issh! Apni jodi 2 maas age amar kachhe asten!
**
Patient:amar bachar chance koto ta ?
Doctor: 100%,medical theory bole ei rog e 10 joner moddhe 9 jon rugi mara jai.
……….. Apni amar 10 number rugi.
ager 9 jon maara gechhen.
**
Student and Exam Jokes in Bengali
Manusher brain ek ajob jontro!
Dine 24 ghonta, bochhore 365 din kaaj kore
Jnmo theke kaaj kore.
Sudhu exam hall e dhokar agei kaj bondho kore dey!
**
Teacher:achha boloto surjo beshi dorkari na chaand?
Student: sir chaand.
keno na raate jokhon kono alo thake na tokhon chaand alo dey.
**
Teacher: je onnojone sunte na chaileo onorgol kotha bole jay take ki bola hoy?
Student: sir,
tader bola hoy..
….
Teacher.
**
Teacher: jano george washington tar babar pota gachh kete felechhilen aar nijei baba ke se kotha bolechilen. Tar baba take kono sasti den ni. Keno bolte paro?
Student:kenona kuthar ta tokhono tar hath ei chhilo. :P
**
Ekbar ek skul theke sob student der museum dekhte niye jawa holo.
Ekj student dekhte giye ekta purono murti bhenge fele!
Curator rege giye bollo: “jano ei murti ta 100 bochhor purono?”
Student:” tao bhalo, ami bhablam ota notun!”
**
Teacher Student Exam Professor School and College Jokes in Bengali
Exam hall e xam dite giye
Jodi dekho paper tough.
Chinta koro na.
Chokh bondho koro aar nijeke bolo:
“ei subject ta khub interesting,
ami ei subject ta abar porte chai.”
**
Ekta ghumonto bagh
Ekta uttejito kukurer theke beshi shatiman,
Temni
Ek ghumonto chhatro
Ek uttejito teacher er theke beshi bhalo.
By,
“Nikhil Bharatiyo Back Benchers Parishad”
**
Prof: murkho ra eto proshno kore je gyani ra birokto hoye poren.
Student:jani sir, amra sob exam ei eta bujhte pari.
**
Ekjon lecturer maa er cheyeo mahan.
Keno?
Maa sudhu tar bachha der ghum parate paare.
Kintu lecturer sob bachhader ghum pariye dey.. :D
**
Exam e aschhe T20:
Xam time 1 ghonta aar full marks 50 kombe.
15 min por por break,
Free hit marks thakbe kothin question er jonno.
Prothom 30 min powerplay:kono supervisor thakbe na.
Cheer girls thakbe jara proti page lekha sesh hole nachbe.
**
janam,moron ekbar.
Bhalobasa o ase ekbar.
Biye o hoy ekbar.
Kintu ei xam keno ase bar bar!
**
Comedy Jokes in Bengali
Kichhudin age amake ekta meye call korechilo:”hello, tumi amar barite chole eso,kew nei barite.
Ami meyetar bari giye dekhi sotty kew barite nei…
**
Ami tomay sudhu etuku I bolte chai je, tumi amar khub priyo bondhu.tumi kadle,ami kadi, tumi hasle, ami hasi….tumi jokhon janala diye jhaap dao,ami niche dekhi, abar
hasi..:P
**
Hey, sobsomoy mone rakhte murkhoami chhara, gyan thakte pare na, ugliness chhara, beauty thakte pare na.tai bolchhi …..
….ei world e tomar dorkar achhe
**
Amar raate ghum nei,
Amar dine kaaj nei,
Ami bhagwan ke jigges korlam,”am I in love?”
Bhagwan bollen:”na botsyo, samnei tomar result..”
**
Talent, bhagyo ar problem er difference ki?
2to chele 1 ta meyeke bhalobase=problem
1ta chhele 2to meyeke bhalobase=talent
2to meye ekta chhele ke bhalobase=bhaggyo.
**
attitude kake bole?
3te pipre ekta hathi ke aste dekhlo.
1st: amra ota ke mere felbo.
2nd:amra or thang bhenge debo.
3rd: bechara ke chhere de, amra 3jon o eka.eta thik noi.
**
Raate chand dine alo, keno tomay lage bhalo?
Glap lal kokil kalo,sobar cheye tumi bhalo.
Akash nil,majhe sada,
gowal ghore tumi badha…
**
Hey! Amar ekta upokar korbe? Tomar ekta chhobi tule amay send korona..
Ami cards khelchhi ,kintu joker ta khuje pawa jachhe na….
**
jodi kono meyeke bipode help koro,
se sobsomoy tomar kotha mone rakhbe.
sudhu jokhon se abar kono bipode porbe..
**
teacher:achha boloto,
“i am beautiful” eta kon tense hobe in english?
student:mam, eta surely past tense i hobe!
:P
**
ekdin wife ekta gadha ke dhore bari niye aschhilo
husband:ei patha take kothay pele?
wife:dekhte pachho na? eta gadha!
husband:are gadha kei to jigges korlam!!
**
soldier:sir, amader palabar poth nei.
amader shotrura chardik theke ghire felechhe!
major:darun.
ekhon amara tahole jekono dike attack korte pari!
**
ekta mota lok ekta train er kamra te bose chhilo.
sei dekhe ekta lok moja kore bollo:
dada,ei kamra ki sudhu hathi der jonno?
fat man:na na dada,
apnader mtoto badro ra chaile boste pare..
**
diner:ki je koro na!
dim gulo te eto nun keno diechho?
waiter:sir, kichhu mone korben na plz.
asole murgi ta high pressure e bhugchhilo tai
dimgulo nonta!!
**
ekta chhele ekdin naach dekhte gelo
tar maa rege jigges korlen:
okhane giye emon kichu dekhisni to jeta tor dekha uchit noy?!
son:haa. ami babake dekhlam
**
ekta chhele ar ekta meye park e bose chhilo..
chheleta meyetake kiss korte gelo.
girl:uhu! biyer age esob kichhu noy!
boy:dnt worry! dear. amar biye hoye gechhe.
**
boyfrnd:i love u
grlfrnd:mee too
boyfrnd:tumi amay kotota bhalobaso?
grlfrnd:tumi amay jotota bhalobaso thik tototai.
boyfrnd:cheater! ami bhabtam tumi amay sotty bhalobaso!!
**
ekjon sottikarer musci lover kake bole?
ekta meye bathroom e gaan gaichhe
snan korte korte…
aar ekta chhele keyhole er kachhe
giye nijer chokh na use kore
kaan use korchhe!! :-P
**
teacher:Algebra:
a=b
aar b=c
mane
a=c
**
ekhon amay erokom arekta example bolo.
student:sir, ami apnake bhalobasi.
aar apni panra meyeke bhalobasen.
taar mane holo, ami apnar meyeke bhalobasi…
**
chhele aar meyer modhhe ki farak?
jodi ekta chhele ekt meyeke chithhi lekhe,
loke bole”loafer”
aar jodi kono meye kono chhelek chithi lekhe,
take loke bole”pffer”
tofat bujhle?
**
buyer:ami ki kore bujhbo je eta khati modhu?
seller:apnar kukur take din khete.
jodi na khay tahole bujhben eta khati modhu
buyer:aar jodi amar kukur et kheye ney?
seller:tahole bujhben eta sottikarer kukur noy..
**
wife:amar sathe 10 bochhor?
husband:jeno ek second er moto.
wife:1000 taka ki?
husband:ekta coin
wife:ok,amay 10 ta coin dao.
husband:ek second daro.. :P
**
Hilarious Bengali Jokes
ekta juboti meye ek buro lok ke biye korlo.
sobai jiggges korlo:
“er modhhe tumi ki dekhle?”
girl:”ek to er income, aar tarpor er din o kom..
**
himesh ekta picture joom korbe.
ki kore?
?
?
?
?
?
“zara zoom zoom,
zara zoom zoom…”
**
bondhura,
ami gandhijir photo collect korchhi
tomader sobar kachhe tai abedon
kichhu photo diye amay help koro.
sudhu ektai condition achhe:
photo ta 500 othoba 1000 takar note er opor thakte hobe
**
ami ekjon bharate khuni.
amai poisar jonno khun kori.
ami ekjon khuni
ami poisar jonno khun kori
kintu tumi chinta koro na.
tumi to amar bondhu,
tai tomay ami bina poisay khun korbo!
**
teacher:kono book bestseller hote gele
book tate ki ki thaka uchit?
student:sir,
book er cover e ekta meye
aar meyer gaye no cover.
**
boy:tumi amay bhalobaso karon,
aamar baba amar jonno onek taka rekhe gechhen.
tai na??
girl:na idiot!
ami tomay bhalobasi karon.
ami parowa korina, ke tomay eto taka rekhe gechhe!!
**
chhele driving licence pawar por tar babar 1st advice:
“dekho baba jekhane hok ar jake hok dhakka maaro,
kintu sudhu sosta jinish ei dhakka mero.”
***
husband:amader chheleta puro amar brain peyechhe.
wife:amaro tai mone hoy..
karon amar brain ta ekhono amar sathei achhe!
:-P
**
man:tomara babar boyosh koto?
son:amar aar amar babar boyosh same
man:ki!! eta ki kore sombhob??!:O
son:are,amai jonmanor por i to uni baba hoyechhen!
***
diner:ami ei pocha machh khete parchhina.
tomader manager kothay? dako onake.
waiter:sorry sir, onake dekeo laav nei.
uni o oi pocha machh khaben na.
**
keno hathi ra
eto bor
kalo
hoy?
karon.
..
.
.
.
.
ora jodi sda, ar chhoto arhoto
tahoel oder ke
tablet bola hoto :P
**
Funny Bengali SMS and Jokes
ilu mane ki?
i=i
l=love
u=urdu
ami urdu bhalobasi.
tumi ki bhable?
i love ujbuk..
setao thik,ami tomakeo bhalobasi.
**
husband aar gadha er modhhye ki farak?
ans:husband gadha hote pare.
kintu
gadha ra etotao gadha noy je husband hobe!
:P
**
meye ar chumbok er modhhe ki farak?
?
.
.
.
chumboke er ekta positive side thake… :P
**
jodi prithibi tomar charpashe bonbon kore ghurte thake,
aar tomar hridoy er spondon bere jay,
tumi ki bhabbe egulo prem er lokkhon?
?
?
?
na munna,
eke bole high blood pressure! :P
**
balish holo sottkarer prem er moto.
tumi jokhon bipode poro tokhon oke jorie dhorte paro
jokhon kado,tokhon er opor sue kadte paro.
aar eke ador korte paro jokhon khub anondo hoy.
sottykarer bhalobasa chai,
bazar jao, 100 taka diye ekta balish kine aano.. :-P
**
Yash Johar ektu notun film banachhe
uni notun kono talent khujchen.
ami tomar naam suggest korechho
plz onar sathe giye dekha koro.
cinemar naam.
..
..
‘Aqal Ho Na Ho’ :-P
**
wife:ami more jete chai.
husband:ami o more jete chai
wife:keno? tumi keno morte chao?!
husband:eto khushi amar soibe na.
**
bhalobasa bondhutter pore hote pare.
kintu
bondhutto bhalobasar por hote pare na
karon.
..
osudh sudhu morar agei kaaj kore,
more gele aar kono kaje ase na :P
**
commerce prof: kono business suru korar sob cheye important finace soure ki?
student:sir, father-in-law
**
keno lsobar eker beshi grlfrnd thaka uchit.
karon monopoly sobsomoy baje dike niye jai.
aar competetion sobsomoy unnotir pothe niye jai..
:-P
**
sudhu 20% chheleder mathay budhhi thake.
tahole bakider kachhe ki thake?
.
.
.
?
?
tader kachhe grlfriend thake! :P
**
father:baba, ebar jonmodine tomar ki gift chai?
son:beshi kichhu na baba.
sudhu ekta radio,
jeta ekta sportscar er sate attach thakbe.
**
teacher:tumi ekta opodartho!
jano, tomar boyoshe Bill Gates class e 1st hoto!
student:kichhu mone korben na sir!
kintu apnar boyoshe hitler suicide korechilo!
:-P
**
grlfrnd:uff boddo tight!
boyfrnd:darao,ami thelchhi.
grlfrnd:jor kore dokao.
boyfrnd:ah.. parchhi na
grlfrnd:issh! byatha lagchhe.
boyfrnd:bad dao
..
..
.
.
ekta notun wedding ring kinte hbe.
**
ekta meye ekdin greeting card kinte gelo
grl:apnar kachhe kono romantic card achhe?
shopkeeper:eta dekho:”to the boy i ever loved”
grl:bah! great!
amake ei card 10 ta din.
**
biyer somoy keno husband wife hath dhore thake?
karon etai riti.
jemon boxer ra fight er age kore thake!!
:P
**
ekta idur ekta beral ke ki bhabe propose korbe?
….
?
?
??
“Billo Rani Kaho Tou Abhi Jaan De Doon..
O Billo Rani..!!;-)
**
Moral of ghajini movie:
jokhon i nijer girlfriend er sathe dekha korte jabe,
nijer cell phone nite bhulo na.
aar
jokhon khub bipode porbe,
nijer mobile phone silent rakhbe.
**
tumi nachte jano?
?
?
?
jano na!
.
.
.
chesta koro
.
..
.
sotty parona?!
.
.
.
tar mane tumi pappu.
karon only pappu can’t dance..
**
girl:dear,amader engagement er din tumi amay ring debe to?
boy:sure, kotha theke ring korbo tomay?
landline na mobile??
**
jokhon akash e kalo megh kore,
tomar kotha i mone pore.
jokhon bristi hoy,
tomar kotha i mone pore.
jokhon sei bristi te ami bhije jai,
tokhon o tomakei sudhu mone pore.
ebaar boloto amar chhata ta kobe ferot debe?!!
**
doctor:apni aar 2 ghontar moddhe mara jaben.
apni ki karur sathe dekha korte chan?
patient:haan, amai ekjon bhalo doctor er sathe dekha korte chai.
**
teacher:who is Mahatma gandhi?
student:mahatma gandhi holen oi lokta jini
Munnabhai ke nijer girlfriend ke impress korar byapare help korechilen…
**
wife:issh! ami jodi newspaper hotam!
tahole saradin tomay hath e,tomar kachhe thaktam!
husband:sotty, tumi jodi amar newspaper hote!
tahole roj ami ekjon notun petam!
**
biye holo onekta public toilet er moto!
jara baire dariye thake, tara dhokar jonno mukhiye thake.
aar jara vetore achhe tara beronor jonno mukhiye thake!! :P
**
husband aar wife holo garir tyre er moto.
ekta kharap hoye gelei gari cholte pare na!
tai ..
sob somoy ekta spare tyre rakhbe.. :P
**
Bhogoban sob jayga te thakte parben na bole
tini maa er shristi korechhen.
odike shoitan o sob jayga te thakte parbe na..
tai..
shashuri der shristi hoechhe!! :D
**
hi!
ami agami robibar e biye korchhi
tai ekta chhoto party o hobe.
khub kom lokjon kei dekchhi.
tumi o eso plz.
kono gift aante hobe na.
sudhu paarle biye korar moto ekta patri niye eso!!
**
ekta meye ekta chhele ke bollo:
tumi khub sundor,
khub handsome,
khub mishti..
oops..sorry..
tomake mishti bolte parbo na.
tahole pipre ra kheye sesh kore felbe!! :P
**
sundor ke?
tumi.
buddhiman ke?
tumi.
mishti ke?
tumi.
ke bhalo bondhu?
tumi
ke lier?
seta holam ami!





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