Showing posts with label hindi non veg sms. Show all posts
Showing posts with label hindi non veg sms. Show all posts






Santa Ney Apni Biwi Ko Apney 1 2st K Sath  100te Dekh Liya.

Usney Aav Dekhaa Naa Tav Banduk Uthayi Or 2st Ko Goli Mar Di.

Biwi Ney Yeh Dekha Or Gussey Main Aakey Boli..........

Tum Apney Gussey Peh Kabu Rkho, Wrna 1 Din Apney Sarey 2sto Sey Hath Dho

Bethogey..........



 Bus stop pe ek ladki dupata bandhe khadi thi
tabhi ek uncle aaye or bole
Are janeman ek bar is chehre ka didar toh kara de
Ladki - Papa mein hun.......Rofl

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Ek kutiya ne 4 pillon ko janam diya
Pillon ne pucha papa kahan hai
kutiya boli chup raho kamino
papa jokes ko padhne mein busy hain...Tongue
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Boy- I want to Hiddenswear u
Girl- Tamij se baat karo
Boy- Alla tala k fazlo karam se khuda ka ye nek banda
mohtarma ko arju-e-fitrat se be inteha chodna chahta hai....Huh
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Arj kiya hai jiske aane mein lagte hain 15 saal
Jaara gaur pharmayega
wah wah........
sun to le bhai
jiske aane mein lagte hain 15 saal
bo hain jhaant ke baal
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Do ladies car driving seekh rahi thi
Unke pati:- Yaar meri biwi toh raat ko gear samjh kar hilati rahti hai
Dusra:- Meri biwi toh panty khol kar boli 200 ka daal do Tongue
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Santa kissed his girlfriend in park
GF :- Plzz ye sab shaadi se phele mat karo
Santa:- Oh soniye don't worry I am married
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06-12-2012, 11:56 PM (This post was last modified: 06-13-2012 02:08 PM by AbhishekSri.)
Post: #2
    AbhishekSri Offline
Away For Some Time
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hahaha nice jokes.
get some more Big Grin

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Bus stop pe ek ladki wisper ka packet leke khadi thi.
Bhikhari ; kuch de do.
Ladki ; kuch nahi hai.
Bhikhari ; ye bread ka packet hi de do.
Ladki ; kal aana sos lagake dungi.
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kutab minar ko dekh kar ek shayar ne likha
ajab karishma dekha khuda e karim ka, aasma ko chodne nikla hai laudazameen ka
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mirza galid ne masuka kawhisper dekha aur bola:
'SALWAAR KE NICHE SE PAANI LAAL AATA HAI,
KYA MERI BIWI KA BHOSADA PAAN KHAATA HAI'
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sardar -murga kaise diye
murgawala -70,50 aur 10 ka.
sardar - rs 10 ka itna sasta kyu?
murgawala -isko aids hai.
sardar - de do khana hi hai gand thode hi marni hai

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ek hizde ne armi ke sare test pass kar liye sex test me manager bola aapka to lund hi nahi hai
tab hizda bolta hai manager se
ye bataiye aapko goli chal bani hai ya maa chud bani hai
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Lady: Time kitna hua hai?
Banta: Bra Panties.
Lady: Time poocha hai Nonsense.
Banta: Time hi to bataya hai 12.35
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Teacher: What is your caste?
Student: Pehle hum Singh they,
Phir Rajput hue,
Phir Sharma ho gaye,
Abhi hai Darzi…. Aaage Mummy ki marzi
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Teacher to student: There is two type of sex on earth, male and female.
A student: Teacher I know few more.
Teacher: What?
Student: Bedroom sex, bathroom sex and online sex.....
 










Here i update latest hindi non veg sms. this non veg sms i collected on the internet.


Funny adult jokes in Hindi

 New married couple adult joke in hindi

Nayi Dulhan Ko Dulhe Ne Suhagrat Pe Muh Dikhai Ke Rs 25,000 Diye.
Dulhan Itne Sare Paise Dekh Kar Ghabra Ke Boli.
Dulhan: Suno Ji Pura Khandaan Thokega Kya?
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Jija Sali Adult Joke In Hindi

Apni Sali Ke Saath Sex Karne Ke Baad Jija Bola
Jija: Tum Apni Didi Se Zyada Majaa Deti Ho

Saali Udaas Hote Hue: Dekhiye Na Jijaji, Fir Bhi Mere Pati Kahte Hai Tumhari Didi Jyada Maja Deti Hai

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Husband Wife adult joke on condom in hindi


Pati Ka Sex Karne Ka Mood Thha Office Se Ghar Aate Hue Bazar Se Condom Le AyaGhar Aaya To Patni Ne Us Se Pucha.

Patni: Ye Condom Kitne Ka Hai?
Husband: 10 Rupe Ka
Patni: Hey Bhagwan, Mehngayi To Dekho, Jab Main Saatvi Class Mein Thhi Tab 50 Paisi Ke 3 Aate Thhe



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Girlfriend Boyfriend Adult Hindi joke


Ek Premi Joda Park Mein Bethe Thhe Aur Apas Mein Baatein Kar Rahe Thhe
Ladki Ne Apne Premi Ke Pyar Ki Parakh Karte Hue Us Se Puchha.
Ladki: Agar Tumhe 8 Boobs Mile To Kya Karoge?
Ladka Khushi Se Jhumte Hue: Main Use Ji Jaan Se Dabaunga… Chusunga… Chaatunga… Uspar Latak Jaunga…

Ladki Ye Sun kar Gusse Se: To Wahaa Udhar Ek Kutiya Soyi Hui Hai, Chal Jaa Aur Shuru Ho Jaa

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Santa Banta Adult JOke In Hindi
Santa Apni Girlfriend Ke Boobs Choos Raha Tha
Girlfriend Ko Maja Aa Raha Tha Excited Hoke Boli
Girlfriend: You Want Anything Else?
Santa Masumiyat Se: Agar Do Parle G Ke Biscuits Aur Mil Jaate To Maja Hi Aa Jata

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Girl Boy adult joke in hindi

Ladka Ladki Se Puchta Hai: Shaadi Ke Bad Vidayi Ke Time Ladkiya Roti Kyu Hai?
Ladki: Abe Ullu, Agar Tujhe Pata Ho Ki Koi Tujhe Ghar Se Door Le Jake Kar Sari Rat Teri Gaand Marega To Tu Kya Nachega..






Bus stop pe ek ladki wisper ka packet leke khadi thi.
Bhikhari ; kuch de do.
Ladki ; kuch nahi hai.
Bhikhari ; ye bread ka packet hi de do.
Ladki ; kal aana sos lagake dungi.



kutab minar ko dekh kar ek shayar ne likha
ajab karishma dekha khuda e karim ka, aasma ko chodne nikla hai laudazameen ka





mirza galid ne masuka kawhisper dekha aur bola:
'SALWAAR KE NICHE SE PAANI LAAL AATA HAI,
KYA MERI BIWI KA BHOSADA PAAN KHAATA HAI'



sardar -murga kaise diye
murgawala -70,50 aur 10 ka.
sardar - rs 10 ka itna sasta kyu?
murgawala -isko aids hai.
sardar - de do khana hi hai gand thode hi marni hai
 



ek hizde ne armi ke sare test pass kar liye sex test me manager bola aapka to lund hi nahi hai
tab hizda bolta hai manager se
ye bataiye aapko goli chal bani hai ya maa chud bani hai
 


Lady: Time kitna hua hai?
Banta: Bra Panties.
Lady: Time poocha hai Nonsense.
Banta: Time hi to bataya hai 12.3


Teacher: What is your caste?
Student: Pehle hum Singh they,
Phir Rajput hue,
Phir Sharma ho gaye,
Abhi hai Darzi…. Aaage Mummy ki marzi
  


Teacher to student: There is two type of sex on earth, male and female.
A student: Teacher I know few more.
Teacher: What?
Student: Bedroom sex, bathroom sex and online sex.....


Pehli raat ko kamre ke andar jaate hi dullhan apna blouse kholne lagi.
Dulha -ye kya kar rahi ho.
Dulhan -maa ne kaha tha jate hi dudh pilana.


Boyz are stronger than gals, because boys get two mangoes with two grapes and lots of fresh milk.... and gals get only one banana and ek chammach lassi.
  


Love is a gamble,
Sex is game.
Boys get fucking,
Girls get pain.
One night plasure,
Nine month pain.
One day in a hospital
and a junior fucker comes again



Boy: Breast ke taraf ishara keraty hway, Amme Amme yeh kia hain
Amme: Beta yeh GhubarayHain.
Boy: Tu Amme masi kay baray kion hain.
Amme: Tumnay kub daikhay.
Boy: Jub papa un main hawa bhar rahay thay




lund pe aitbaar kisko hai…
Mil jaaye chodney ko to inkar kis ko hai…
Kuch mushkilen hai chut paane me dost
Warna muth marne se pyaar kisko hai


my fav-

Ladki k Baap Ney Vidai K Waqt Dulhe Se Kaha “Beta hamari Izzat Ab
Tumhare Haath Mein Hai.

Dulha Bola:”Chinta Mat Kijiye Aaj Hi Loot Loonga!”

 


Insan jb pehli bar dalta hy to wo confuse hota hay
magar tum na ghabrana or dal dena
tum jese hi rakho ge wo khud andar chala jaye ga
phir thumein acha lagnay lagay ga
or
phir ajeeb ajeeb awazen ayen gi,
or phr jub tumhari money nikal jaye
to tum nikal lena apna ATM


Teacher: Bacho batao k billi 1 sath itnay
saray bachay kaisay paida karti hay?
Kid: Miss agar aap road pay billi ki
tarah ghoomo to aap ko pata chal jayega





Girl check up ke liye gai, Doctor ki niyat khrab ho gai.
Doctor ne uske kaprey utarwaye.
Girl:- kiss kyu le rhe ho?
Doctor:Checkup ke liye
Girl:- Breast kyu daba rahe ho?
Doctor:- Breast cancer check karne ke liye.
Doctor ne kaam lagana shuru kar diya.
Girl:- kya kar rahe ho?
Doctor:- Aids checkup.
Girl:- Check kya karna hai.AIDS ki to dawayi lene aayi thi mein.


Hindi Non veg sms, collection of hindi non veg sms                



Some Santa-Banta & Majedar Chutkule

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Santa comes bleeding.
Banta: What happened?
Santa: Jaggu hit me with hammer.
Banta: Didn't u hv anything in ur hands?
Santa: I had. Banta: What? Santa: His wife's boobs!
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Lecturer in a medical college class: Man's semen contains glucose.
One of the female students had doubt and she asks: Then why it doesn't taste sweet
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Thought for the happy life: Patni agar pati ko naukar samjhe to pati ko kya karna chahiye?
Zyada kuchh nahi... do char ghar aur pakad Lene chahiye!
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A Newly Married Couple Seeking Divorce...Judge asks Lady "Why do you want divorce?"
Lady: Despite Knowin That I'm Vegetarian, He Forces Ne To Put Meat In My Mouth!!"
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What do woman usually say after Sex?
I Luv U?
Wrong!
That was great?
Wrong again!
I Luv it?
Aray Nahi Yaar....
Sahi Jawab Hai: Suno Meri BRA PANTY Kaha Rakhi Hai.........
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What is the height of poverty?..........
When a girl is ready to get fucked for only 2 rupees....
and you have only 1 rupee!!!!
Beta: Mummy Tum Roz Papa Pe Eharh ke Jump Kyu Marti Ho?
Mummy: PAPA Ke Pait Ki Hawa Nikalne K Liye
Beta: Kia Faida Baraber Wali Aunty Muun Se Phir Hawa Bhar Deti Hai.....
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Sardar: Gand Main Dard Hay
DR: Main Hath Dalta Hon Batana Kaha Hain
Sardar: Andar Aur Andar, Aor Andar , Han Yahain
Dr : BK Tera To Gala Kharab Hai
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If you want Suck the nipple of girl ,she always say why yours mother and sister r not living in ur home .u say yes but there is not child
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Life Without fun , Sky Without Sun , Ten without One , warrior Without Gun , Batsman without run, Is all Like a Man without LuN
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Advantages of breast milk?
A) No need to boil.
B) Cat can't steal it.
C) Available in attractive containers.
D) Popular in all age groups.
E) Ek Pee Ek Free
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Gabar se ronay ki wajah poochi.....usne kaha MAA ne danta hai.... MAA se poocha tau kehti hai.... MUJH SE POOCTA HAI KITNAY AADMI THAY..
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A 50 years old man during fucking an old woman of 90, starts suckung her breasts,after 10 min the man got died, police came and make postmartum report,in report it was written that the milk was xpired.....
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A bio teacher was telling her students that for the best penetrations 6-7" PENIS IS best.
ONE OF THE GIRL ASKD HER tht wht abt 9" .
Tsaid i m telling abt NECESSITY not .
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Man marries a deaf gal. he mimes, lets make a code! if i want sex i'll squeeze ur breast, in responce u can pull my penis once for YES and 50 times for NO.
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ladki boli 200 loongi, HIL HIL k maza du gi...
ladka bola 100 doonga HIL mein khud lu ga..
ladki boli to phir ye 100 bhi bacha le aur hath se HILA le
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A Collection of Non Veg Jokes,Hindi Non Veg Jokes,Santa Banta Jokes,Punjabi Jokes,Majedar Chutkule from Net





Girl to another: Kal sapne me mujhe koi chakku se mar raha tha
.2nd Girl: Tu dar mat agar sapne sach hote to mujhe roj ABBORTION karana padta...
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If your boss says: Nothing is impossible, ask him to wear a condom after sex.
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Fact of life: When a girl attains maturity, she wants to wear a bra... When aboy attains maturity, he wants to remove that bra.....
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Teacher: Jimmedari kya hoti hai ?
Student: Madam agar apke blouse k 4 batton me se 3 tut jaye to 4th pe jo aatihai, usko jimmedari kehte hai.
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Luv is not measured by Hugging, Kissing & sex. It's all about TrustingRespecting & Accepting a person with open legs, closed eyes & wet lips sayingPush it more.
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Lady: What is a good time for Sex?
Doctor: In the afternon between 2 to 4.
Lady: Why ?Dr: The compounder will not be here...
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Mother found a condom in daughter's cupboard. She went straight to her nasked:
What is this?
Girl: To aap kya chahti hain, main is umar mein Maa ban jaaun?!
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Playboy has started a special edition for Married men. The same woman is featured every month.
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Sex is evilEvil is sinSin is forgivenSo let's begin.
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Boy: How much Calcium is there in women's BREAST?
Gril: Enough to help a Man's boneless thing stand up.