• Non Veg Jokes

•   DHOOM-3:

    John,Hritik,Aamir on BIKE at speed of 2000km/hr &

    Suddenly Rajnikant overtakes dem wid Bicycle n says

    "Yenna Rascalaa, Save Fuel, Use Cyclelaa." :-)

• Hindi Jokes

        Santa Singh is badly wounded and in hospital.

        Banta visits.

        Banta - Kya hua Santa ? (what happenned?)

        Santa - Padosan ki billi mere murge ke piche padi thi. Maine uske pati ko angrezi mei chithi likhi to uske pati ne mujhe pita!(neighbour's cat was after my he hen, so I wrote her husband a letter in english .)


        Banta - Tune kya likha tha? (what had you written?)

        Santa - Keep an eye on your wife's pussy, she is after my cock

• Non Veg Jokes

        Servant enrolled his donkey in a race and won

        The local paper next day read "SERVANT'S ASS WON"

        King got upset. No way to do publicity. Ordered the servant to give the donkey to the queen
        ...
        Headlines next day " QUEEN HAS THE BEST ASS IN TOWN"

        King fainted. Queen was asked to sell off the donkey immediately to a farmer for $ 10

        Now, the papers faithfully reported "QUEEN SELLS HER ASS FOR $ 10"

        King got totally frustrated, asked the Queen to buy back the donkey and leave it in the jungle

        Not to be left behind, the papers came up with " QUEEN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD & FREE"

        King died next day

Bus stop pe ek ladki wisper ka packet leke khadi thi.
Bhikhari ; kuch de do.
Ladki ; kuch nahi hai.
Bhikhari ; ye bread ka packet hi de do.
Ladki ; kal aana sos lagake dungi.


kutab minar ko dekh kar ek shayar ne likha
ajab karishma dekha khuda e karim ka, aasma ko chodne nikla hai laudazameen ka

---

mirza galid ne masuka kawhisper dekha aur bola:
'SALWAAR KE NICHE SE PAANI LAAL AATA HAI,
KYA MERI BIWI KA BHOSADA PAAN KHAATA HAI'


sardar -murga kaise diye
murgawala -70,50 aur 10 ka.
sardar - rs 10 ka itna sasta kyu?
murgawala -isko aids hai.
sardar - de do khana hi hai gand thode hi marni hai
 


ek hizde ne armi ke sare test pass kar liye sex test me manager bola aapka to lund hi nahi hai
tab hizda bolta hai manager se
ye bataiye aapko goli chal bani hai ya maa chud bani hai
 

Lady: Time kitna hua hai?
Banta: Bra Panties.
Lady: Time poocha hai Nonsense.
Banta: Time hi to bataya hai 12.3

Teacher: What is your caste?
Student: Pehle hum Singh they,
Phir Rajput hue,
Phir Sharma ho gaye,
Abhi hai Darzi…. Aaage Mummy ki marzi
  

Teacher to student: There is two type of sex on earth, male and female.
A student: Teacher I know few more.
Teacher: What?
Student: Bedroom sex, bathroom sex and online sex.....

Pehli raat ko kamre ke andar jaate hi dullhan apna blouse kholne lagi.
Dulha -ye kya kar rahi ho.
Dulhan -maa ne kaha tha jate hi dudh pilana.

Boyz are stronger than gals, because boys get two mangoes with two grapes and lots of fresh milk.... and gals get only one banana and ek chammach lassi.
  

Love is a gamble,
Sex is game.
Boys get fucking,
Girls get pain.
One night plasure,
Nine month pain.
One day in a hospital
and a junior fucker comes again


Boy: Breast ke taraf ishara keraty hway, Amme Amme yeh kia hain
Amme: Beta yeh GhubarayHain.
Boy: Tu Amme masi kay baray kion hain.
Amme: Tumnay kub daikhay.
Boy: Jub papa un main hawa bhar rahay thay



lund pe aitbaar kisko hai…
Mil jaaye chodney ko to inkar kis ko hai…
Kuch mushkilen hai chut paane me dost
Warna muth marne se pyaar kisko hai

my fav-

Ladki k Baap Ney Vidai K Waqt Dulhe Se Kaha “Beta hamari Izzat Ab
Tumhare Haath Mein Hai.

Dulha Bola:”Chinta Mat Kijiye Aaj Hi Loot Loonga!”
 

Insan jb pehli bar dalta hy to wo confuse hota hay
magar tum na ghabrana or dal dena
tum jese hi rakho ge wo khud andar chala jaye ga
phir thumein acha lagnay lagay ga
or
phir ajeeb ajeeb awazen ayen gi,
or phr jub tumhari money nikal jaye
to tum nikal lena apna ATM

Teacher: Bacho batao k billi 1 sath itnay
saray bachay kaisay paida karti hay?
Kid: Miss agar aap road pay billi ki
tarah ghoomo to aap ko pata chal jayega




Girl check up ke liye gai, Doctor ki niyat khrab ho gai.
Doctor ne uske kaprey utarwaye.
Girl:- kiss kyu le rhe ho?
Doctor:Checkup ke liye
Girl:- Breast kyu daba rahe ho?
Doctor:- Breast cancer check karne ke liye.
Doctor ne kaam lagana shuru kar diya.
Girl:- kya kar rahe ho?
Doctor:- Aids checkup.
Girl:- Check kya karna hai.AIDS ki to dawayi lene aayi thi mein.

Hindi Non veg sms, collection of hindi non veg sms                

Bus stop pe ek ladki dupata bandhe khadi thi
tabhi ek uncle aaye or bole
Are janeman ek bar is chehre ka didar toh kara de
Ladki - Papa mein hun.......


Ek kutiya ne 4 pillon ko janam diya
Pillon ne pucha papa kahan hai
kutiya boli chup raho kamino
papa jokes ko padhne mein busy hain...


Boy- I want to u
Girl- Tamij se baat karo
Boy- Alla tala k fazlo karam se khuda ka ye nek banda
mohtarma ko arju-e-fitrat se be inteha chodna chahta hai....


Arj kiya hai jiske aane mein lagte hain 15 saal
Jaara gaur pharmayega
wah wah........
sun to le bhai
jiske aane mein lagte hain 15 saal
bo hain jhaant ke baal


Do ladies car driving seekh rahi thi
Unke pati:- Yaar meri biwi toh raat ko gear samjh kar hilati rahti hai
Dusra:- Meri biwi toh panty khol kar boli 200 ka daal do


Kaminey dost

Boy:- Agar bo meri nahi hui toh kisi ki nahi hone dunga

Dost:- Aur agar teri hui toh ham sabki hone dega????


Santa kissed his girlfriend in park
GF :- Plzz ye sab shaadi se phele mat karo
Santa:- Oh soniye don't worry I am married

Hindi Jokes

एग्ज़ॅम और सुहाग रात के बाद कामन डाइलॉग-

कैसा हुआ.?

अच्छा हुआ,

थोड़ा बड़ा था

थोड़ा छूट गया,

आता था पर ठीक से कर नही पया.

फिर भी जैसा हुआ अच्छा हुआ.

***************************

लड़का लड़की प्यार कर रहे थे.

लड़का बोला:- क्या हम शादी कर ले?

लड़की बोली:- कमीने, मज़दूर हो मज़दूरी करो. फैक्ट्री का मलिक बनने की कोशिश मत करो!

Girl to another: Kal sapne me mujhe koi chakku se mar raha tha
.2nd Girl: Tu dar mat agar sapne sach hote to mujhe roj ABBORTION karana padta...
*.*.*.•
If your boss says: Nothing is impossible, ask him to wear a condom after sex.
*.*.*.*•
Fact of life: When a girl attains maturity, she wants to wear a bra... When aboy attains maturity, he wants to remove that bra.....
*.*.*.*•
Teacher: Jimmedari kya hoti hai ?
Student: Madam agar apke blouse k 4 batton me se 3 tut jaye to 4th pe jo aatihai, usko jimmedari kehte hai.
*.*.*.*.*•
Luv is not measured by Hugging, Kissing & sex. It's all about TrustingRespecting & Accepting a person with open legs, closed eyes & wet lips sayingPush it more.
*.*.*.*.•
Lady: What is a good time for Sex?
Doctor: In the afternon between 2 to 4.
Lady: Why ?Dr: The compounder will not be here...
*.*.*.*.*•
Mother found a condom in daughter's cupboard. She went straight to her nasked:
What is this?
Girl: To aap kya chahti hain, main is umar mein Maa ban jaaun?!
*.*.*.*.*•
Playboy has started a special edition for Married men. The same woman is featured every month.
*.*.*.*.*•
Sex is evilEvil is sinSin is forgivenSo let's begin.
*.*.*.*•
Boy: How much Calcium is there in women's BREAST?
Gril: Enough to help a Man's boneless thing stand up.